{"id":111,"date":"2015-05-10T23:28:45","date_gmt":"2015-05-10T23:28:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/?p=111"},"modified":"2015-05-19T03:28:31","modified_gmt":"2015-05-19T03:28:31","slug":"can-we-talk-about-the-arena","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/?p=111","title":{"rendered":"Can We Talk About The Arena?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Since I\u2019ve been on a latter-day Chris Claremont kick lately, I thought I\u2019d tell you all about The Arena, a four-issue arc of Claremont\u2019s X-Treme X-Men series from 2004, with art by Igor Kordey. \u00a0What I believe was originally intended as a stand-alone graphic novel, these issues include some of the most unabashed, gratuitous examples of Chris Claremont’s weird S&M\/mind-control fetish.\u00a0 Now, I of course have no problems with S&M activities between two or more consenting adults, or artistic expressions thereof in and of themselves, but it’s… it’s just a bit weird when it shows up so overtly in an X-Men comic book. \u00a0And it’s this weirdness that I want to share with you<\/em>, dear reader!<\/p>\n

Let’s start with the main character of this four-issue arc, Storm, who leaves the X-Men to track down slaver Tullamore Voge while the rest of them confront Elias Bogan, a malevolent disembodied mind-controlling mutant, because what else would he be<\/em>. \u00a0They make some halfhearted attempts to stop her from going solo, giving her a hard time about being “too cocky, too stubborn, too proud<\/em>” to call for backup if she needs it. \u00a0She goes to visit her longtime friend Yukio, a freewheeling ninja-type who routinely demonstrates her reckless nature by jumping off Tokyo high-rise buildings, so secure is she in the knowledge that Storm will catch her, which makes Storm’s customary\u00a0outrage (“You could have killed<\/em> yourself! \u00a0What possessed<\/em> you, woman?!”) a bit ludicrous considering she does this literally every time they meet<\/em>. \u00a0So after sharing some godawful awkward dialogue<\/a>, they do that thing where Yukio gets Storm to dress up so they can charm their way past the standard-issue bouncer at\u00a0this exclusive high-end sexy sex-club, asking “What’re you afraid<\/em> of, ‘Ro? \u00a0The clothes<\/em>… or the woman<\/em> they may set free?<\/em>” \u00a0Because yeah, if anybody can draw “sexy,” you’d better believe it’s Igor Kordey!<\/a> \u00a0(I mean, dat codpiece<\/a>, amirite?) \u00a0More\u00a0old-man-style narration follows:<\/p>\n

“In my life, I have never met anyone so utterly fearless<\/em>, so full of passion<\/em>, so totally and fiercely alive<\/em> [as Yukio]. \u00a0With every breath, she dares<\/em> death to claim her. \u00a0The closer he comes, the more she laughs<\/em>. \u00a0I have never understood why she chose me for a friend<\/em>, but it is a relationship I have come to cherish<\/em>. \u00a0She is a wild, untamed<\/em> soul. \u00a0And when I am with her, so am I<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

Yaawwwn. \u00a0Just reminding us that if there’s anything Chris Claremont loves, it’s [over-]writing the exact same relationships\u00a0he wrote for these characters thirty-plus years ago, which, for the actual sincere\u00a0Claremont fans out there, I can only imagine they love for his consistency. \u00a0In the club, they’re approached by foppish show-runner Masata Koga, who wants to recruit them to the Arena, which he figures they can’t resist as he describes\u00a0them all as “predators<\/em>. \u00a0That is the\u00a0nature<\/em> of our species. \u00a0It is bred into our genes, our blood, our bones, our very soul. \u00a0The urge to fight!<\/em> \u00a0The need to win!<\/em>” \u00a0Predictably enough, Storm\u00a0breaks up the fight-to-the-death by entering the arena of her own free will, facing her opponent… ugh… Musclehead, and delivering her knockout punch with a SKARA-BOOM! along with\u00a0her classic finishing line, “But you should remember, whenever you see lightning<\/em>… there’s also\u00a0thunder!<\/em>” \u00a0And because nothing is\u00a0sexier than underground mutant gladiatorial fights, and due to\u00a0Storm’s apparent lobotomy, she is overcome by the “glorious” victory and wants more!<\/p>\n

Anyway, Storm goes back to Yukio’s apartment where they\u00a0gab at each other for pages and pages and pages<\/em>, during which\u00a0Storm presumably ruins Yukio’s laptop by melodramatically splashing wine all over a jpeg\u00a0of Xavier’s face<\/a>. \u00a0(Storm, what the @#$% is\u00a0wrong\u00a0with you?) \u00a0Some time later, Guido \u201cStrong Guy\u201d Carosella \u2013 who brought such joy to so many in Peter David\u2019s X-Factor \u2013 is reduced to providing page after page after interminable page<\/em> of expository dialogue in the most excruciating <\/em>dumb-guy accent:<\/p>\n

“Waitaminnit!\u00a0 I t’ink I see where you’re goin’ wit’ dis, Storm.\u00a0 Dis is not <\/em>good.\u00a0 Dis is so <\/em>not good.\u00a0 Dis is why I went after you before, ta keep you from doin’ somethin’ so unbelievably stoopid!<\/em> \u00a0Dis ain’t no casual deal I’m talkin’ here. […] “Ev’ry time you walk out onto the sands of the Arena, it’s all or nuttin’<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

So for whatever reason, Storm decides to go back to the Arena and take on the role of Champion, at which point her longtime nemesis Callisto shows up. \u00a0I’d like to talk about Callisto for a minute.\u00a0 For those of you who, for whatever reason, did not<\/em> tune in to the X-Men Animated Series, Callisto is the on-again-off-again leader of the Morlocks, the community of mutant outcasts who live in the abandoned sewer tunnels beneath New York City because their disfigurements make them unable to live in human society.\u00a0 She’s a huntress with superhumanly keen senses and a penchant for knife-fights.\u00a0 But all too often, she’s portrayed as just an otherwise beautiful woman with an eyepatch, which she isn’t<\/em>.\u00a0 You wanna see Callisto?\u00a0 You wanna see my<\/em> Callisto?\u00a0 Baby, feast your eye(s) on this<\/em> terrifying she-monster from your nightmares<\/a>! \u00a0That’s<\/em> Callisto!<\/p>\n

But instead, because we’re in Japan, and Chris Claremont wants to add another<\/em> layer of fetish onto this series, we get [BONER ALERT]… tentacles<\/a>! \u00a0And it’s at this<\/em> point that I start to wonder at the confluence of events that led to this old, old<\/em> man writing\u00a0these X-Men characters to act out his bizarre BDSM fetishes, as drawn by someone like Igor Kordey, who, bless his heart, is clearly giving it his all, but the end result of which is less sexy than it is… discomfiting. \u00a0I can also only wonder at the hilarious conversation that must have occurred between issues where someone (perhaps assistant editors Stephanie Moore and Cory Sedlmeier, or editor Mike Marts, who I can only imagine must have been loving<\/em> their jobs while all this was going on) suggested that Igor Kordey maaaybe consider adding electrical tape X’s<\/a> over Callisto’s nipples\u00a0underneath her fishnet top. \u00a0Because, yeah, we don’t want this to get weird<\/em> or anything.<\/p>\n

But as Storm wonders aloud to Callisto whether it was worth it to transform herself to this extent just to settle a score with her, we come to\u00a0the most unfathomable, bizarre, what-the-@#$%iest part of these four issues: Masque.<\/p>\n

Let me tell you about Masque \u2013 don\u2019t worry, he\u2019s a relatively simple character, it won\u2019t take long.\u00a0 Masque is\u00a0actually one of the first Morlocks we meet, and one with the most reason to be there: he is a hideously disfigured old man<\/a> with the unique mutant ability to re-shape the flesh of others with but a touch \u2013 able to make someone look exactly like someone else<\/a>, or even mush up their face all horrible<\/a> so they suffocate \u2013 but he is unable to use his powers on himself.\u00a0 You see?\u00a0 You see how neatly this works?\u00a0 His internal bitterness and rage against the society that shuns him is reflected and reinforced by his grotesque appearance.\u00a0 He has the ability<\/em> to make everyone beautiful, but he doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 He\u2019s a monster inside and out, but you can see where he\u2019s coming from, and relatability leads to sympathy, and sympathy leads to tragedy.\u00a0 At this point I am over-explaining his character.<\/p>\n

So when someone that looks like Marilyn Monroe in a kimono<\/a> saunters in with her leather-fetish entourage (Purge, PosterBoy, and Paradise, if you’re wondering)\u2026 and Storm immediately <\/em>recognizes this individual as Masque\u2026 and thinks things like, “Masque’s presence explains why the agents who came before me disappeared. \u00a0She<\/u> could have turned them into anyone — or anything!” [emphasis added]… it threw me, to say the least.\u00a0 It continues<\/em> to throw me.\u00a0 Because that isn’t Masque.\u00a0 He has always been a horrible old man, so there’s no reason Storm or anybody else should recognize him here (unless it’s a kind of Dr. Girlfriend scenario in which he still has the same voice to go along with his new appearance, which, in my imagination, is amazing).\u00a0 Storm references Masque’s desire for vengeance against both herself and Callisto, so it’s not like I’m confusing this new character with somebody else. \u00a0There’s even a scene where s\/he glibly wonders whose appearance s\/he’ll take on next<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please note that both these comics and Masque’s first appearance are written by the same writer.\u00a0\u00a0Chris Claremont\u00a0created<\/em>\u00a0Masque.\u00a0 So to this day I am at a loss to explain his justification here; Masque\u00a0is hardly what I would call an important figure in the X-Men mythos, but he was a\u00a0solid<\/em>\u00a0character, and the thought of a character’s physical body being completely at the mercy of someone else’s whim is genuinely creepy<\/a>. \u00a0Later issues of the X-Men, as well as the Official Handbook to the Marvel Universe, credit this change to a\u00a0good ol’ “secondary mutation,” but to give Masque the ability to change his own face as well as those of others basically reduces him to just another shape-shifter<\/em>, and completely undercuts the foundation of this character for not a lot of gain. \u00a0I mean, why not just cut to the chase, skip the middleman, and highlight slaver Tullamore Voge<\/a> as the mastermind behind the Arena, for whom Claremont has long sported an inexplicable<\/a> boner<\/a>? \u00a0Or why not just make Masque some horrible old man in a nice sharp suit to go along with his new role? \u00a0What was the point? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

So then we’re treated to a whole ‘nother issue in which Storm and Callisto compete against their will as slaves to this mutant-on-mutant gladiatorial combat for the entertainment of the masses, and because it’s Chris Claremont, you can’t have slavery without some seriously uncomfortable S&M scenes. \u00a0Like this one<\/a>. \u00a0And this one<\/a>. \u00a0And hoo-boy\u00a0this one<\/a>. \u00a0Not to mention more seeking, slithering tentacle action<\/a>. \u00a0Have you forgotten we’re reading an X-Men comic yet? \u00a0Where we all managed to get here by successfully navigating past the wee small “PSR” next to the issue number on the cover that stands for “Parents Strongly Recommended?” \u00a0(I can only hope my mom is\u00a0okay with my reading this stuff.) \u00a0Again, I’m as open to\u00a0BDSM as anyone, but when it’s so blatantly non-consensual<\/em> and happening to a character I care about, it gives me the heebie-jeebies. \u00a0Why is this happening to poor Storm? \u00a0Why did this story need to be told over\u00a0four double-sized\u00a0issues? \u00a0<\/em>Why did this story happen in 2004, when we should all know better? \u00a0Is this what comes from allowing Chris Claremont free rein to just do whatever he wants? \u00a0Or was it all just for the sake of that one comic writer<\/del> devoted X-Men fan where this story just ticks every box on his kink\u00a0checklist, and if he thinks this comic is the hottest thing he’s ever seen, then by god, all the hard work will have been worth it?<\/p>\n

But ehh, don’t worry about it, I guess. \u00a0Storm and Callisto go along with it until eventually Yukio, Strong Guy, and Masato Koga help them snap out of it (thanks to the power of friendship<\/a>!) and overpower and defeat Masque, since needless to say, someone who can warp bodies upon physical contact and his\/her\u00a0cronies who can induce pain and pleasure upon physical contact are well-matched against a mutant who can wield the forces of nature<\/em>. \u00a0Callisto declares she likes her new body, and they put Masque in the crate intended for Tullamore Voge, to which\u00a0a completely in-character Storm declares, “I hope Voge likes his new prezzie<\/em>” (AAAAUUUGGGGHHHH). \u00a0And since this is still an X-Men comic, Storm then delivers our moral\u00a0about putting aside the challenge and danger of gladiatorial combat in favor of providing a safe haven for all mutants, and then our story concludes with our heroes enjoying a nice comradely victory soak in a hot tub<\/a>. \u00a0With tentacles.<\/p>\n

As a kind of epilogue to this nonsense, Storm and Callisto both reconnect with the X-Men in the penultimate issue of Chris Claremont’s\u00a0X-Treme X-Men series. \u00a0There are just so many things wrong with this page<\/a> that I hardly\u00a0know where to start. \u00a0First off, we have Kitty Pryde still in her “Coyote Ugly” phase. \u00a0(Seriously, she was a college bartender for a while.) \u00a0Secondly, while welcoming back Storm, she uncharacteristically describes Callisto’s new tentacle-monster look as “cute.” \u00a0Callisto replies with an equally uncharacteristic “Totally!” and I sometimes consider adding “Take a sip every time an adult character\u00a0uses the phrase ‘so<\/em>,’ ‘totally,’ or ‘so totally'”<\/em> to the Chris Claremont drinking game, but that much alcohol would assuredly threaten the reader’s life. \u00a0Callisto\u00a0not only glibly refers to Masque with the pronoun “her” as if anyone else in the room would know who the @#$% she was talking about, but she also precedes this with, “Making free with the ‘revenge’<\/em>\u00a0thing,” which isn’t even<\/em>\u00a0an old-man-itis turn of phrase, it’s just plain baffling. \u00a0“Making free?<\/em>” \u00a0That’s not a phrase among Earth humans, is it?<\/p>\n

But that one panel… I have no idea, you guys. \u00a0I have no idea what the script called for, I have no idea what the writer or the artist intended to convey, and\u00a0I have no idea why these two characters are engaging in these awkward and inexplicable homoerotic overtones. \u00a0I don’t know why Callisto is doing it and I definitely<\/em> don’t know why Storm is going along with it, whatever<\/em> it is. \u00a0Hey! \u00a0Hey, did you know that one time Storm stabbed Callisto through the heart with a switchblade<\/em> in a one-on-one fight to the death? \u00a0This is a thing that happened! \u00a0“Oh, brother!” is right, Kitty Pryde! \u00a0Oh, brother to us all!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since I\u2019ve been on a latter-day Chris Claremont kick lately, I thought I\u2019d tell you all about The Arena, a four-issue arc of Claremont\u2019s X-Treme X-Men series from 2004, with art by Igor Kordey. \u00a0What I believe was originally intended as a stand-alone graphic novel, these issues include some of the most unabashed, gratuitous examples […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-can-we-talk-about"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=111"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":140,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions\/140"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}