Well, um… I @#$%ing hated it? \u00a0How’s that for ya?<\/p>\n
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Cody, you picked up the first issue of a comic featuring Groot, what did you think was going to happen<\/em>.” \u00a0Frankly, I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. \u00a0I guess it’s just masochism that prompts me to keep picking up Guardians of the Galaxy comics and expecting that they’ll be anything more than Marvel Looney Tunes. \u00a0I was surprised by how much I enjoyed\u00a0writer Jeff Loveness’ recent three-part Inhuman Error storyline (in-depth love letter forthcoming), so I thought, well hey, maybe he’ll be the one to turn Groot into a character in his own right instead of an unfunny one-note non-joke.<\/p>\n Nope!<\/em> \u00a0No discernible difference between this and an issue of Skottie Young’s Rocket Raccoon, because Rocket Raccoon is the main character by default, because Rocket Raccoon does all the talking in this fun space comic that is apparently marketed towards tiny babies. \u00a0Groot and Rocket are hitchhiking through the infinite void of\u00a0space<\/a> on their way to Earth, and they meet a space-truck-driver hauling space-chickens until they run\u00a0into a pack of space-sharks… then they’re picked up by a bunch of Skrulls pretending to be identical<\/em> humans until they, I guess,\u00a0get confused<\/a> about who they’re supposed to shape-shift into… oh and hey, why not throw in a last-son-of-Krypton gag<\/a> when Rocket and Groot steal the spaceship meant for the infant son of Kor\/Al? \u00a0That’s never been done before, right? \u00a0Should be good for a laugh? \u00a0And then — while they’re having yet another conversation in the cold and airless vacuum of space — they’re captured by WHAT THE @#$% ELSE BUT<\/em> a generic alien space-mercenary (literally wearing a pirate hat<\/a>) looking to collect the bounty on Groot, prompting an argument about why Groot’s bounty is higher than Rocket’s. \u00a0Then she summons a whole army of generic alien space-mercenaries out of nowhere. \u00a0Then they continue their conversation and fisticuffs all<\/em>\u00a0in the lifeless void\u00a0of space without benefit of sound or gravity<\/em>. \u00a0Rocket’s captured, he slaps a propulsion pack on Groot, and tells him to “go tell everyone exactly what happened!” before he realizes that isn’t going to work. \u00a0To be continued. \u00a0And oh, by the way, it seems Groot wants to get back to Earth to meet up with someone named “Hannah.” \u00a0Uh-oh! \u00a0Could it be? \u00a0Is Groot… in wuv? \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n Well, kids and babies, if you loved the Guardians of the Galaxy movie, feel free to pick up this comic, because it’s the exact same<\/em> brainless story that you can find in literally any<\/em> other comic with a funny space character on the cover. \u00a0I hope you enjoy it, because it’s clearly you for whom this comic was intended, not me. \u00a0Thank you, this has been the latest installment of Cody’s Joyless Curmudgeon Corner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Well, um… I @#$%ing hated it? \u00a0How’s that for ya? Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Cody, you picked up the first issue of a comic featuring Groot, what did you think was going to happen.” \u00a0Frankly, I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. \u00a0I guess it’s just masochism that prompts me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comic_round-up"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=306"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/306\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":348,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/306\/revisions\/348"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}