I do not have an eBay account. \u00a0I have never had one, because I am not allowed to have one.<\/p>\n
In the vast marketplace that is the Internet, eBay is usually my last resort, to procure items I cannot easily acquire elsewhere. \u00a0I’ve successfully bid on one eBay item, and that was back around 2006, borrowing the eBay account of a friend (with his knowledge and permission, thank you). \u00a0It was for a complete set of the four-issue Flex Mentallo miniseries, written by Grant Morrison and with art by Frank Quitely; at the time these issues were quite rare, since they were out of print due to being tied up in a trademark infringement suit between DC Comics and, of all entities, the Charles Atlas company. \u00a0It was the very rarity of these issues that taunted me and tantalized me — was simple scarcity<\/em> the only thing between me and this story? \u00a0And so I lay in wait, watching the minutes tick by before I made my move, neatly swiping the auction out from underneath the other\u00a0bidders with seconds to spare. \u00a0After all, what were they doing bidding on comics that I’d already decided were mine? \u00a0Clearly, I wanted them more. \u00a0And to this day, I can still remember that rush of victory, which — if I’m honest — made the actual acquisition of said comics seem secondary in comparison. \u00a0To call it a dangerous sensation would be a gross understatement, and relying on the kindness of others to bid on my behalf helps maintain a useful barrier between myself and… well, financial ruin, most likely.<\/p>\n This weekend, in the course of my travels through the Internet, my thoughts turned to the eleven-issue Marvel run of Gargoyles comics. \u00a0In my youth, the Gargoyles TV series\u00a0captured my imagination like nothing else. \u00a0Like Batman: The Animated Series, I loved and respected these shows because, even as a fourth grader, I recognized that these so-called “cartoons” did not patronize me. \u00a0They didn’t talk down to me. \u00a0They took me seriously, and showed me what a story<\/em> could be. \u00a0Gargoyles ran the gamut of just about every mythology there is — sure, it had cyborg assassins and dystopian futures and clones upon clones, but it also dealt with Arthurian legend, Shakespeare, Anansi, pantheons from Greek and Egyptian myth, even freaking Cu Chullain. \u00a0(When was the last time your children’s Saturday morning cartoons taught them about Irish mythology.) \u00a0<\/em>One episode featured\u00a0the alien that inspired the moai<\/a> on Easter Island. \u00a0Not to mention some of the best @#$%ing examples of time travel to be had in modern fiction. \u00a0Meet me in person and give me a caffeinated soda and I will talk at you about that episode with the Archmage until you politely excuse yourself and wriggle out of a bathroom window.<\/p>\n Thus, I made note of an auction for a complete run of these hard-to-find comics from 1995, starting at a mere $10 for the lot. \u00a0Clearly this seller\u00a0didn’t know what they had — one of these issues can go for $20 easily, and the only other auction on eBay with a complete run offers a buy-it-now option for $125. \u00a0All this and early Amanda Conner art, to boot. \u00a0Did I need<\/em> them in my life? \u00a0No, of course not. \u00a0But, well, they’d be nice to have, wouldn’t they? \u00a0And if they’re right there, after all… Which led me to asking my husband if we had any friends with an eBay account.<\/p>\n And so, I did what all addicts do, sooner or later: I dragged my family into it.<\/p>\n In conversation with my mom, she mentioned that she has an eBay account — of course<\/em> she does, she said in the tone of one who wonders why they wouldn’t, in this day and age. \u00a0So we agreed that if I kept an eye on it this weekend, she’d bid for me, and I’d pay her back. \u00a0And if it didn’t work out, well, no harm done, right?<\/p>\n This evening, my mom and I began a video-chat with ten minutes before the auction ended. \u00a0My heart sank when I noticed that the bids had increased from two to twenty-two over the course of the day, and then to twenty-seven as I watched. \u00a0My mom signed on, ready to place her bid when I gave her the word. \u00a0My dad even joined in on the action, pulling up a chair and providing his strategy: he thought I should wait until one minute left, to give us a chance to post a counter-bid. \u00a0I wanted to play dangerously and wait until thirty seconds, if that. \u00a0We noted that we still had four long minutes to go — what else were we going to talk about to fill the time? \u00a0The tension rose as the red timer inexorably ticked away the seconds. \u00a0At fifty seconds, we made our move, which was instantly countered. \u00a0We bid again — Dad said we should let it go, Mom asking me how high I was willing to go. \u00a0As high as it takes<\/em>, obviously. \u00a0She and I were both caught up in the rush. \u00a0We bid again. \u00a0Too much, of course. \u00a0But I can still justify this. \u00a0And then… it was over. \u00a0No harm done. \u00a0Clearly, the other bidder just wanted these Gargoyles comics more than I did. \u00a0No shame in that. \u00a0In this modern age, rare comics aren’t actually that hard to find if you look hard enough, and they’ll turn up again.<\/p>\n …and yet.<\/em> \u00a0Hours later, I can’t help but look back and wonder about my strategy. \u00a0Should I have had my mom wait until ten seconds remained? \u00a0Five? \u00a0Oh, this is so damnably difficult to coordinate by proxy. \u00a0Which, of course, is entirely the point. \u00a0It’s not the kind of thing that one can approach rationally, particularly with a sickness as well-honed and refined as my own. \u00a0This doesn’t feel like defeat, exactly. \u00a0It’s certainly not going to keep me up at night. \u00a0But what is it about the canker that prompts one to keep prodding it with one’s tongue, though there’s no good that can come from dwelling upon it, much less anything like satisfaction?<\/p>\n To make matters worse, my mom said it was fun. \u00a0And you know what? \u00a0It was<\/em>. \u00a0It unexpectedly turned into a fun family bonding activity. \u00a0Immediately afterwards, she asked me if there were anything else I wanted to bid on while we were at it.<\/p>\n And that is the story of why I don’t have an eBay account, because I’m not allowed to have one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I do not have an eBay account. \u00a0I have never had one, because I am not allowed to have one. In the vast marketplace that is the Internet, eBay is usually my last resort, to procure items I cannot easily acquire elsewhere. \u00a0I’ve successfully bid on one eBay item, and that was back around 2006, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=349"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":354,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/349\/revisions\/354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.codyscomiccorner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}